One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
