Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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