She said her name was "party"
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
