OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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