I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
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