no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
We were destined to go to rehab together
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
