If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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