we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize