The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I need help removing her.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
