Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Randomize
