But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Randomize
