Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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