Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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