Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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