We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I look better un-naked...
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
