Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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