Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.

  (1-314): View more from Missouri

  How did that happen by accident?

  (314): View more from Missouri

  I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (314): I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night. (1-314): How did that happen by accident? (314): I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong. http://tfl.nu/6uoj
  Replies (17) Good night (572) Bad night (3330)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (850): when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move. http://tfl.nu/4rb4
  Replies (27) Good night (797) Bad night (3260)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (305): Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere. http://tfl.nu/rhba
  Replies (22) Good night (1311) Bad night (6753)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (336): Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her. http://tfl.nu/icjy
  Replies (54) Good night (2714) Bad night (15183)
• Favorite

  (562): View more from California

  just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (562): just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore. http://tfl.nu/d75g
  Replies (28) Good night (5241) Bad night (1483)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (616): So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together. http://tfl.nu/gv0c
  Replies (7) Good night (6589) Bad night (1722)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (978): I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there. http://tfl.nu/oxsp
  Replies (9) Good night (3287) Bad night (1111)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in. http://tfl.nu/9rsk
  Replies (14) Good night (3128) Bad night (850)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (859): This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk... http://tfl.nu/39pj
  Replies (8) Good night (1713) Bad night (697)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (518): It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun. http://tfl.nu/n6c2
  Replies (21) Good night (2208) Bad night (988)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (505): We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon. http://tfl.nu/nv69
  Replies (15) Good night (1818) Bad night (534)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am? http://tfl.nu/j782
  Replies (7) Good night (1741) Bad night (608)
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (530): Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt? http://tfl.nu/ijyj
  Replies (6) Good night (823) Bad night (409)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks (248): Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down http://tfl.nu/3xjk
  Replies (2) Good night (918) Bad night (381)
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.

  (419): View more from Ohio

  i've gotta research that and get back to you.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (740): it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky. (419): i've gotta research that and get back to you. http://tfl.nu/7k7v
  Replies (1) Good night (646) Bad night (410)

Randomize