Texts From Last Night

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  (650): View more from California

  oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'

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  (650): oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole' http://tfl.nu/gd5q
  Replies (5) Good night (1128) Bad night (663)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  you're drinking in the law library????

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  ...not a bad idea....

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  probably not a good idea either.

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  (978): you're drinking in the law library???? (978): ...not a bad idea.... (508): probably not a good idea either. http://tfl.nu/gi3r
  Replies (28) Good night (1351) Bad night (621)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.

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  (605): We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy. http://tfl.nu/7hz1
  Replies (41) Good night (11958) Bad night (772)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe

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  (816): Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe http://tfl.nu/ye00
  Replies (35) Good night (1444) Bad night (14145)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.

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  (305): I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success. http://tfl.nu/yoei
  Replies (16) Good night (6228) Bad night (1044)
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  (530): View more from California

  Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(

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  (530): Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :( http://tfl.nu/eg10
  Replies (18) Good night (952) Bad night (7237)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us

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  (416): no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us http://tfl.nu/s0m4
  Replies (8) Good night (2283) Bad night (645)
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  (787): View more from Puerto Rico

  Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM

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  (787): Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM http://tfl.nu/4phi
  Replies (17) Good night (1612) Bad night (565)
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  (310): View more from California

  It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal

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  (310): It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal http://tfl.nu/wa0q
  Replies (32) Good night (1325) Bad night (971)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.

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  (503): There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing. http://tfl.nu/yajw
  Replies (5) Good night (1146) Bad night (512)
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  (+64): View more from New Zealand

  He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.

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  (+64): He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic. http://tfl.nu/imyn
  Replies (9) Good night (1154) Bad night (433)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  "I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."

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  (814): "I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year." http://tfl.nu/a90h
  Replies (5) Good night (739) Bad night (550)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.

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  (920): She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls. http://tfl.nu/7oj4
  Replies (2) Good night (759) Bad night (435)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.

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  (407): What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats. http://tfl.nu/w4l0
  Replies (1) Good night (931) Bad night (531)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.

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  (617): She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil. http://tfl.nu/6r35
  Replies (4) Good night (662) Bad night (367)

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