So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Guys Hate When Girls Do These 29 Cringeworthy Things
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue