Texts From Last Night

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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!

  (708): View more from Illinois

  read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy

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  (832): Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame! (708): read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy http://tfl.nu/7pn0
  Replies (3) Good night (780) Bad night (781)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom

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  (978): Why are you at a bar in Connecticut? (617): Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom http://tfl.nu/akoi
  Replies (20) Good night (3530) Bad night (535)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.

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  (314): So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes. http://tfl.nu/wpyi
  Replies (5) Good night (689) Bad night (2168)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker

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  (215): if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker http://tfl.nu/asrh
  Replies (31) Good night (682) Bad night (4933)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?

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  (605): you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out? http://tfl.nu/fgrz
  Replies (59) Good night (9596) Bad night (831)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...

  (1-513): View more from Ohio

  God I fucking love America.

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  (513): NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016... (1-513): God I fucking love America. http://tfl.nu/eses
  Replies (45) Good night (9032) Bad night (1057)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  i dont even know how to be here

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  (973): i dont even know how to be here http://tfl.nu/mwy9
  Replies (34) Good night (5502) Bad night (1485)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.

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  (614): he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff. http://tfl.nu/tizj
  Replies (32) Good night (1134) Bad night (15218)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?

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  (305): Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning? http://tfl.nu/gt8n
  Replies (12) Good night (3476) Bad night (1670)
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  (619): View more from California

  How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?

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  (619): How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup? http://tfl.nu/tdw6
  Replies (13) Good night (1768) Bad night (534)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  It's like the Christmas morning of dicks

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  (612): I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep. (651): It's like the Christmas morning of dicks http://tfl.nu/nghh
  Replies (7) Good night (1036) Bad night (342)
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  (310): View more from California

  I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.

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  (310): I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it. http://tfl.nu/9g38
  Replies (0) Good night (691) Bad night (294)
• Favorite

  (705): View more from Ontario

  I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.

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  (705): I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught. http://tfl.nu/csvp
  Replies (3) Good night (793) Bad night (256)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'

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  (678): I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.' http://tfl.nu/e36d
  Replies (5) Good night (796) Bad night (255)
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  (623): View more from Arizona

  It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.

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  (623): It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that. http://tfl.nu/i8dz
  Replies (5) Good night (649) Bad night (200)

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