have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage