CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...