Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
