Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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