You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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