She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
