when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
