well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Randomize