I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
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