And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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