He asked to "fluff my boner.."
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
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