Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
