There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
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