In the future we'll all be gay
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
