his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
It's shark week go big or go home
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
