there was a trapeze. enough said
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Randomize
