ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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