I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
