No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
