i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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