You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Randomize
