Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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