at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize
