so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
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