If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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