Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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