Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
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I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
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while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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