i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
