i permit you to call me
I don't think brook has ever known best
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
My bed smells like the plague
Randomize
