Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
