there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Sorry about my life...
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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