CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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