just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
