I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
