why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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