It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
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