i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
