I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Randomize
