I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
